Complejidad

September 17, 2018

 

Yo: vengo de una tierra que grita montañas y susurra un rio pequeño

donde la naturaleza enfrenta a la urbanización

donde la riqueza de cultura enfrenta a los empobrecidos,

gente sacrificada por un socialismo falso

Yo: de una historia ancestral larga, compleja, desconocida

hija de un matriarcado con poder a través de trauma y violencia

años de adversidad, sacrificio, sumisión

para llegar aquí, en el momento de migración

Yo: me trasladaron las olas del poscolonialismo y globalización dominantes

me trasladaron las manos de mi mama, estresadas y callosas

a una tierra blanca, fría, implacable

y me convertí en la criatura de la diáspora estadounidense

Nunca aquí, nunca allá

Ni ecuatoriana ni estadounidense

ni blanca ni negra,

en un mundo tan blanco-negro

yo: recupero mi poder en la cara de opresión interseccional

me atrevo a amarme, la persona que se emociona al ver un pajarito

a abrazarme, la persona que se ríe mucho y se corta el pelo muy corto

a acariciarme, la persona que se obsesiona de música de todas formas

yo: en el más allá y en el entremedio

yo: un arcoíris de colores invisibles a los ojos humanos

yo: un ser complejo

yo: maria camila

 

 

Since landing in this beautiful, complicated territory for my semester with Rehearsing Change, my identity has been molded and stretched, as if reflecting the history of the land on which I stand. Coming back to my incredibly rich homeland has opened my eyes to the complexity that lies inside of my ancestral history, my geographical tendencies, my family story.

 

With this poem, I sought to express these saturated thoughts that have been circling my head in just the first two weeks of my study abroad journey. From physical geography and political economy to my personal history of migration, this poem takes a critical view of my identity as a politicized being. By viewing myself in this way, I have welcomed the difficult tensions I hold everyday to further investigate my place in this globalized world. By claiming my home in the “in-between” and the “beyond”, I am allowing myself to live with complicated identities that move outside of the social constructs imposed by the state, late capitalism, and coloniality. And, after all is said and done, I am okay with it. I am Maria Camila.

 

 

 

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